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Writer's pictureKrystal Baynes-Hoseinee

Healing Hugs

My Garmin Venu Sq kept buzzing and showing the alert “Your stress level is high. Try some breathing exercises”. I couldn’t get my heart rate under control.  I wanted to shout, “I am trying but nothing is working”. I was aware of what was happening, and even why, but knowledge and willpower could not resolve it. I started another round of breathing exercises: “In, 1-2-3; Hold 1-2-3; Out 1-2-3”.


I asked my husband to gently massage my back, right between my shoulder blades as if coercing my agitated heart to relax. Then as I began to lean into the tightest, softest, and safest embrace, my shoulders began to droop, and the incommodious weight of my head caused me to let it fall on his shoulder. The lung-full of necessary air that I had just desperately consumed gushed from a relieved heart and began to force my anxious thoughts to the side.


Anxiety and stress are cumulative and sometimes without knowing it, we stack one issue on top of another and before you are aware your pulse begins to race, you get that jittery feeling, and focus is nearly impossible. I do not have Anxiety but like many others, I have bouts of anxious moments. For the former, one may need more than the tactics I’ve mentioned above, but I am unrelentingly convinced that the presence, love, and compassion that are wrapped up in the gift of an embrace can scale away hopelessness, fear, loneliness, hurt, and anxiety.


Science supports the physical, psychological, and emotional benefits of hugging. However, I do not need to trace the science to know that on many occasions a sincere and prolonged embrace whether given or received speaks a better message of comfort than any sermon or quoted scripture.


Hugging is a ministry that does not need words. It speaks of companionship, empathy, understanding, love, and friendship. Hearts that are anxious, overwhelmed, and sad, need the human touch more than words, as if God Himself is holding them through you. I promise that its effect will be longer and more potent.


Leaning in for an embrace asks the person to trust you, to feel your heart of compassion for them, and to share empathetically in their moment of difficulty. Hugs can’t be faked; the recipient will feel it just as they would recognise inauthentic words. The type of embrace I am encouraging is not the church hug, side hug, or professional hug, it’s the real stuff. The kind that tells the other person that it is okay to fall into my arms and the kind that ministers godly comfort as we “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2).


All forms of support are valuable. I can pray from anywhere at any time for a loved one. I can send comforting words via messenger or even give someone a call (which is rarer now than a few years ago). However, this ministry of an embrace is not a convenient one, it requires the sacrifice and effort to show up and to bring your heart and presence to participate in the healing process. Hugs demonstrate that you showed up for someone and gave a piece of your soul in oneness with their cause.


Wholesome hearts that love others are hearts that willingly and widely share this precious gift of love through an embrace. I remember in my previous church, a wise elderly sister would give me the best hugs that I’ve ever received. For no reason at all she would pull me into her arms, sometimes she would whisper something but most times it was just those long tight hugs. I knew in those moments that she was also praying for me, wishing and wanting well for me. I began to look forward to her hugs especially those times when she probably didn’t know that life was tough. Whenever I go back to visit, I ensure that I find her to cuddle into her embrace like a child. She could only embrace me the way she did because she genuinely desired good for me and her words consistently corroborated what I felt in her hugs.


God has allowed me to understand the importance of and to share this ministry of healing with hugs. Recently, to a grieving cousin and friend, and a traumatised colleague. In some moments, your presence is more potent than promises. Geography, finances, or life’s circumstances don’t always allow us to show up, but when we can, we must.


God can do all things, and in this world, He partners with us to be His heart and hands to those who desperately need Him.


If you have been a benefactor of a genuine and prolonged healing hug then as soon as you have an opportunity, return the blessing. I challenge you even more, before the day is over, hold and hug someone, it will benefit both you and them.


Love Ya!

Krystal Baynes-Hoseinee


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